On Ready Player One: You, Sir, Are No Willy Wonka

I've got around to reading the 2011 novel Ready Player One by Ernest Cline. It made me angry. More than once I was tempted to throw the book against the wall, and I can't recall ever feeling that way before.

This might be unexpected, as it looks like something right up my alley. RP1 is an unabashed celebration of 1980s geekery. It is veritably stuffed with references to cult movies, roleplaying games, music, books, television, and most of all, computer games.

(For some reason, comics aren't mentioned. Maybe Cline isn't a fan. Needless to say, it's all boys' media; Jem And The Holograms doesn't rate a mention.)

I was born in 1978, loved many of these works as a kid, and still enjoy them today. I'm more than happy with modern productions depicting geeky 1980s kids (Stranger Things) or continuing series from that time (The Last Jedi). I was delighted to hear last week that Patrick Stewart is reprising his role from Star Trek: The Next Generation, in which he first appeared in 1987.

So, what's my problem?

Entitlement Issues Redux

I've been thinking about entitled fans, in relation to George RR Martin and Star Wars.

Where is the next book, George?

Martin's fans have awaited his next book with growing impatience, ever since A Dance With Dragons was published seven years ago this week. With admirable bluntness, Neil Gaiman once pointed out George RR Martin is not your bitch.

(Gaiman was writing in 2009, two years before A Dance With Dragons was published. Plus ça change.)

Here is a less combative analogy, which may help make the point:

The Last Jedi: Review

Yesterday I finally saw The Last Jedi. It was great fun. Thoroughly recommended.

After The Force Awakens and Rogue One, we could be pretty confident the Star Wars franchise is in safe hands at Disney. This film keeps up the trend. I agree with reviews by Mark Kermode and John Scalzi; this is a good, solid, entertaining episode.

Some things I particularly liked about it (with minimal spoilers):

It's surprisingly thoughtful in its treatment of the Star Wars cosmology. Luke Skywalker and others argue about the nature of the Force and the purpose of the Jedi. It was good to finally hear in a Star Wars film a thing I've been pointing out for some time: The Jedi aren't all that great.

The Terminator: Come With Me If You Want To Live

Terminator 2: Judgment Day was re-released this Tuesday. I went to see it, of course, and also watched the 1984 film The Terminator on DVD last week.

The date was significant: The eponymous Judgment Day, the nuclear war instigated by the machine intelligence Skynet, is named as August 29, 1997. So, the re-release was twenty years later to the day.

The 3D conversion was unnecessary and didn't really add much to the experience; but it was great to see T2 on the big screen, when I had been a little too young on the original release. Furthermore, after three additional sequels which were mediocre at best, the first two films are an exhilarating breath of fresh air. Even after more than twenty years, they feel far more meaningful than the lazy attempts by the sequels to exploit their achievement.

Spoilers are ahead; but the films are respectively 26 and 33 years old, so I feel comfortable with revealing plot details. If for some reason you haven't seen them, you could always go watch the DVDs and then read the rest of this blog entry; I assure you it will be worth your while.

Ghost in the Shell: Review

Ghost in the Shell is based on the 1995 Japanese animated film of the same name. Its protagonist is known as Major; she is an elite anti-terrorist agent, with a human brain in an otherwise artificial body, who is working to track down a mysterious computer hacker.

In this retelling, Scarlett Johansson has been cast as Major. This has brought about much controversy, which I'll get to later. First, I'll consider other aspects of the film.

Passengers: Review WITH SPOILERS

Passengers (2016) has stayed with me more than I expected; beneath the glossy production design, and a love story between the two attractive leads, something much darker is struggling to receive its due.

Plot spoilers ahead; consider yourself warned.

 

The Inner Conflict of Han Solo [SPOILERS]

Obligatory warning!

Major spoilers ahead for Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Continue at your own risk.

If Presidential Candidates Were Futurama Characters

There is a striking resemblance between the 2016 candidates, and characters from the animated series Futurama. It may be they are those characters, after one of the show's typical time travel mishaps.

"Old Freebie", the flag of Earth in Futurama.

Candidates marked with a * are no longer running. Without further ado, here they are:

Democrats

Hillary Clinton: Turanga Leela

Tough, smart, and capable, but has difficulty getting others to warm to her. Still traumatised by Bill's impeachment Cookieville Minimum Security Orphanarium.

Bernie Sanders: Lord Nibbler of Nibblonia

Approximately 3200 years old and has an ambitious plan to save the universe. Often underestimated, but can devour a spaceship hold full of savage monsters in less than a minute. Hillary Leela used to consider him an amusing pet, but now has to take him more seriously.

Republicans

Donald Trump: Zapp Brannigan

A power-mad, pompous buffoon, ready to sacrifice wave after wave of his own men. Known for his triumphant victory over the pacifists of the Gandhi Nebula. Easily distracted by hot alien babes.

Ted Cruz: Nudar

Leader of a crew of scammers, happy to risk destroying the universe if it might get him what he wants. Considered repulsive by everyone except victims of the obedience virus. Has a disturbing tendency to win anyway, after which he does an annoying victory dance.

Marco Rubio: Philip J Fry

Nice enough guy, but out of his depth intellectually (and in most other ways).

Jeb Bush: Amy Wong

A complete and total klutz, without much sense of purpose. Practically unlimited financial resources, as the Bush Wong family own half of Mars.

John Kasich: Kif Kroker

Rational and competent, but has trouble getting anyone to listen. Despairs at the antics of Trump Zapp Brannigan. Sighs a lot.

Ben Carson: Hubert J Farnsworth

Brilliant at his specialist area of expertise. Baffled and confused by the wider world.

* Chris Christie: The Donbot

Known for taking excessive revenge on those who disappoint him. Any resemblance to the New Jersey Mafia is entirely coincidental.

* Carly Fiorina: Mom

A ruthless businesswoman, but unsuccessful in her scheme to take over the world.

Not running: Nixon's head in a jar

Although he would be an improvement on some of the others.

Also not running: FXJKHR

He is the 60th President, and Obama is the 44th, so we have some time.

Star Wars, Social Media, and Hiding the Shiny Thing

I went to see Star Wars: The Force Awakens on Saturday. It was great fun.

The last time a Star Wars movie lived up to my expectations, I was five years old and watching Return of the Jedi on its first release. It was such a huge relief to simply enjoy a Star Wars film, instead of cringing at leaden dialogue, incoherent plots and implausible character motivation.

I might do a full review later. Meanwhile, I agree with the SF author John Scalzi's verdict: It's not great art, but it's very enjoyable and entertaining. That's not too surprising, because it's what Disney does best.

I'd add that Star Wars inspired a whole generation of science fiction fans. For the most part, we aren't blind to its flaws, but view it with enormous affection. Even after the appalling prequels, there was a huge reservoir of goodwill and creative talent available to make Episode VII -- not to mention a lot of cold, hard cash. JJ Abrams' job was to marshal those resources and produce something with the same sense of fun and adventure as the original films.

Abrams has done all of the fans proud, and I'm looking forward to the next instalment. This time, the anticipation is uncomplicated: Hey wow, that was great! I want to see more! (Last time, it was more like: Oh, please let Lucas learn from his mistakes and not f**k up the next one so badly.)

The keen of eye might have noticed I didn't see the film until three days after its release. This was forced on me by babysitting logistics, but it presented a dilemma. Did I take the risk of viewing spoilers, or deprive myself of Facebook and Twitter for a few days? I chose the second option, and I'm really glad I did.

It's a Star Wars spoiler. (Sorry.)
Source: imgur

Nanowrimo victory

At the start of this month, I signed up for NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). I'm pleased to say I have succeeded in its objective, and written 50,000 words of fiction in the month of November. I've even done it with one day to spare.

I bashed out roughly 11,000 words on the 29th of November alone, so this is not a high-quality piece of writing. If you said it was mad to attempt this in the first place, alongside baby care, cat wrangling, and a full time job, I would not disagree. But there's a strange kind of masochistic satisfaction to having done it. I do have a better idea how my story will work, if I decide to develop it further.

Regular blogging will resume next week, I need a rest from writing anything that's not strictly necessary.

Edit 2015-12-01: This makes my fifth Nanowrimo win: 2008, 2009, 2010, 2013, and now 2015.

If anyone's interested, this year's opus is a science fiction tale with working title The Great Beyond. Main characters include a cynical, disillusioned spaceship captain and treasure hunter; an aristocrat's servant who is not all she seems; and a soul eleven thousand years old in a body which is ten years younger than it should be.

It would be hard to overstate the amount of work this needs before it's fit to see the light of day. But I like the setting and some things about the characters and plot, so I might try and move it forward. It's the same science fiction background I tried to use for Nanowrimo in 2012 and 2014. Both those attempts crashed out long before reaching the 50,000 word target, so this is some kind of progress.

The Martian: Review

The Martian is one of the finest science fiction films I have ever seen. It has a brilliant, tightly constructed script, and is easily the best film Ridley Scott has made since Gladiator. It has likable and believable characters, using their wits, courage and hard work to confront the uncaring laws of nature.

Matt Damon's astronaut is stranded on the surface of Mars, more alone than any human has ever been. He has to survive with his meager supplies, contact Earth, and somehow find a way to get home. If the bitter cold and lack of oxygen don't kill him, he still has to fend off starvation on a planet where nothing grows.

I can't help but compare The Martian with Interstellar (which also had Matt Damon and Jessica Chastain in leading roles). Both are ambitious and visually spectacular science fiction films. On balance, I liked Interstellar very much, but at the same time it was deeply flawed. The Martian steps clear of the pitfalls into which its predecessor stumbled.

The Martian shows rather than tells. It has no pretentious speeches about the potency of love and the human spirit. When Interstellar wanted to say our ecology is fragile, it had a fungal blight destroying all life on Earth; The Martian instead shows how very hard it would be, to reconstruct even the simplest of terrestrial ecosystems. The Martian is a glorious celebration of science, but it also succeeds on a human level. We believe in the protagonist's courage, terror and loneliness, without mawkish conversations with a volleyball as seen in certain other films.

Since the end of the Cold War, most science fiction films have assumed the USA is the only country with any aptitude for space exploration. From Interstellar to Independence Day, NASA is the only outfit worth noticing. (In fact, as @quixoticevil points out on Twitter, budget cuts to NASA may result in other countries taking the lead in sending people to space.) Gravity and The Martian are honourable exceptions, with countries other than America playing an important role in the plot.

The Martian is an optimistic film which celebrates the can-do spirit of the USA, and there's nothing wrong with that. The lead characters and their mission are American; but in matter-of-fact ways, they are shown to be part of a larger world. We are one human species, and we all share in the triumphs of space exploration.

The Martian is a magnificent and intelligent movie, and tremendously entertaining.

---

Talking of Independence Day, I just learned there is a sequel coming out next year. It remains to be seen if the alien computers are still compatible with an Apple Macintosh.

Bad Motivator: Star Wars Episode 3

(Following on from Part 1 and Part 2.)

This is the big one. Anakin Skywalker undergoes his final descent into evil and becomes Darth Vader, one of the most iconic villains in cinema history. His motivation had better be good.

Sadly, it isn't.

Bad Motivator: Star Wars Episode 2

One of the great problems with the Star Wars prequels is the lack of intelligible character motivation. The previous post looked at Episode 1; we now move on to Episode 2.

Episode 2 requires major surgery. A few lines of dialogue won't do it.

There are two parallel plot lines: Obi-Wan's investigation into the attempt on Padmé's life; and Anakin and Padmé hanging out together and supposedly falling in love. The first story is fairly enjoyable, but in the second, the problem of motivation is worse than ever.

Bad Motivator: Star Wars Episode 1

The Star Wars prequel trilogy is generally acknowledged to be awful. There are occasional bright spots, helped along by charismatic actors like Ian McDiarmid, Liam Neeson or the late Christopher Lee, but for the most part they're painfully bad. Why is this?

"Uncle Owen? This R2 unit has a bad motivator, look!"
– Luke, Star Wars: Episode IV

Terrible acting and dialogue are nothing new for Star Wars. If you watch the original trilogy, the script is dreadful and Mark Hamill can't act his way out of a paper bag. I think the prequels really fall down on storytelling, and more specifically on motivation.

We put up with the flaws of the original trilogy because, among other reasons, Luke has compelling motives for his actions. He wants to get away from his uncle's farm and do something heroic; then he wants to become a Jedi, help his friends, and avenge his father; then he wants to defeat the Emperor, redeem his father and save the galaxy. The audience can understand these desires and identify with Luke. It is also pleasing that the stakes get bigger for Luke in each episode.

Leia's motivation? Restore the galactic Senate where she once held a seat, and avenge the destruction of her home planet. Obi-Wan? He feels responsible for the evil of his former apprentice Darth Vader, and wants to make up for old mistakes. Han Solo? At first he's in it for the money, but against his better judgement he comes to believe in the Rebel cause (and gets the hots for Leia). All these stories make sense to the audience.

The villains also have interesting motives. Darth Vader wants to "end this destructive conflict and bring order to the galaxy," but there's more to him than that. He wants to settle old scores with Obi-Wan, and be respected by Tarkin and the other Imperial officers. Later, he wants to make Luke into his ally, or at least stop the Emperor from destroying him. Again, this makes sense.

In the prequels, it doesn't occur to George Lucas to give his characters sensible motivations. The sad thing is, he could have fixed a lot of this with very minor changes, such as a few lines of dialogue. The resulting films would have been vastly more entertaining.

A good feature of The Phantom Menace

Seriously, I'm not joking.

Due to the impending release of Episode VII, my plan to write some other blog posts on Star Wars, and beer on Friday lunchtime impeding my higher brain functions, I decided to re-watch Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace.

In the third act of this film, Queen Amidala is a strong, independent, heroic character. She defies pressure from old men (Palpatine, Qui-Gon Jinn) to stay safely in exile on Coruscant. Instead, she forms a plan, makes an alliance with old rivals, leads her forces in battle, takes back her planet and frees her people.

I really do like that. The battle plan is kind of stupid, but this is Star Wars, so I'm willing to cut them some slack and give credit for a good idea. Natalie Portman's wooden performance is unhelpful, but better actors than her have struggled to make George Lucas' dialogue sound like something a human being might say. The real problem is that Lucas doesn't give this story any space to breathe.

Instead of giving Portman a chance, we are subjected to lots of time with Jar-Jar Binks and Anakin Skywalker. Jar-Jar is so unbelievably irritating, he manages to overshadow the annoying qualities of Anakin, who for some reason has tagged along. What the hell was Qui-Gon thinking, taking a nine year-old boy into the middle of a battle, then leaving him to sit around unsupervised while he heads off to duel with Darth Maul? I wouldn't leave a child that age alone at a football match, never mind a combat zone.

Anakin goes joyriding in a fighter craft. (Bizarrely, there was an Anakin-sized helmet left in the cockpit; I guess the regular pilot has a really small head.) By a combination of dumb luck, supernatural piloting skills, and help from the long-suffering R2-D2, he flies around making idiotic cutesy remarks, before blowing up the Trade Federation control ship, killing everyone on board. Maybe thousands of them, from the size of that ship.

They were all funny-looking aliens who speak with a ridiculous mock-Japanese accent, and pawns in Darth Sidious' evil plan, so they had it coming, right?

Seriously though, a nine year-old boy kills thousands of people. What kind of horrifying Ender's Game shit is that? As a reward, they have a big party, Amidala smiles at him, and then he gets taken away by Obi-Wan for Jedi training, leaving his mother as a slave back on Tattooine. A nine year-old boy, remember. I'm amazed he didn't turn to the Dark Side sooner.

Still, credit where it's due, Amidala taking back her throne is pretty cool.

Terminator: Genisys: Review

Terminator: Genisys is a competent, entertaining action movie.

If that sounds like damning with faint praise, let it be said that I am an enormous fan of the first two Terminator films. They made a major impression on my teenage years, and I still think they are two of the finest sci-fi action films ever made. The question was not whether T:G would measure up to its illustrious predecessors, but whether it would be another tired and pointless retread along the lines of Terminator 3 or Terminator: Salvation.

Mercifully, T:G is not too bad. In fact it's pretty good in places.

Interstellar: Review

Interstellar has definite flaws, but in its themes, ambition, and visual spectacle, it is a deeply impressive film.

Transcendence: Review

Transcendence is an ambitious film about the rise of a superhuman artificial intelligence. It doesn't achieve all it sets out to do, but it is a commendable attempt.

Hollywood's record in trying to address artificial intelligence has been patchy at best. It includes the sentimental nonsense of Spielberg's AI: Artificial Intelligence, the stylish kung-fu nonsense of The Matrix, and the totally absurd nonsense of The Lawnmower Man. Transcendence seems to be keenly aware of this history, and it is desperate to be taken seriously. To some extent it is successful. Much like its main character, Transcendence has overcome the weakness of its ancestors, but lost something of its humanity along the way.

The Android's Bicycle: A Problem of Uploading

Mind uploading is a common idea in modern science fiction.

The concept is simple enough. The human brain is a physical system, made up of cellular structures, chemicals and electrical activity. If we could scan a living brain at high enough resolution, a sufficiently complex computer could be used to simulate it. We could "run" human consciousness like a computer program. The simulated mind might have all the memories of the original.

The technical barriers are formidable. We have only a vague idea of how much resolution or processing power is "enough". Is it necessary to simulate the brain's physical structure, including complex feedback loops to the rest of the body; or can we use abstract representations of thought to achieve the same effect?

Imagine we did learn how to upload minds. This raises some tricky questions. Would the uploaded personality really be conscious? Would it be the same person as the one who had been scanned? If the original brain was destroyed, perhaps as part of the scanning process, is that person dead or still alive as an upload?

On a more practical level, how does the upload experience the universe? Could its perceptions be so different as to bring about radical changes in personality, so that it might not be the same individual after all?

Here is a little thought experiment which makes this last issue more concrete.

Under The Skin: Review

Under The Skin is a disturbing yet strangely touching film, based on a novel by Michel Faber.

Scarlett Johansson gives a remarkable performance as an alien being. She has arrived in our world, disguised herself as a human, and gone out to seduce and capture men. She brings them back to what appears to be a derelict house on the edge of Glasgow, where they suffer a horrifying fate. Why she does this is unclear, but her approach is a dark mirror of all the men out there who view women as trophies to be seized.

It seems she begins to be intrigued by humans, and contemplate them as something other than targets for capture. Although she looks human and speaks English, she has absolutely no understanding of our motivations or her own disguise as one of us. In the end, she proves unprepared for how dangerous humans can be.

Johansson perfectly conveys the perspective of this alien, a being utterly outside human society who observes it as a scientist might study a curious new species of insect. It is a nice touch for her to speak with an English accent instead of her native American -- it results in speech rhythms that are just a little bit wrong, trying a little bit too hard, and perfectly reflects her character. Her performance is understated, but every word and gesture counts.

UTS is packed with brilliant and disturbing visuals of alien activity and bleak, gorgeous Highland landscapes, anchored by the everyday reality of the streets of Glasgow. It is very slow-paced, but I personally enjoyed that, as it allows us to appreciate the alien's detachment from the world and the slow, gradual buildup to terrifying events.

This is a weird, unsettling and brilliant piece of cinema.