If Presidential Candidates Were Futurama Characters

There is a striking resemblance between the 2016 candidates, and characters from the animated series Futurama. It may be they are those characters, after one of the show's typical time travel mishaps.

"Old Freebie", the flag of Earth in Futurama.

Candidates marked with a * are no longer running. Without further ado, here they are:

Democrats

Hillary Clinton: Turanga Leela

Tough, smart, and capable, but has difficulty getting others to warm to her. Still traumatised by Bill's impeachment Cookieville Minimum Security Orphanarium.

Bernie Sanders: Lord Nibbler of Nibblonia

Approximately 3200 years old and has an ambitious plan to save the universe. Often underestimated, but can devour a spaceship hold full of savage monsters in less than a minute. Hillary Leela used to consider him an amusing pet, but now has to take him more seriously.

Republicans

Donald Trump: Zapp Brannigan

A power-mad, pompous buffoon, ready to sacrifice wave after wave of his own men. Known for his triumphant victory over the pacifists of the Gandhi Nebula. Easily distracted by hot alien babes.

Ted Cruz: Nudar

Leader of a crew of scammers, happy to risk destroying the universe if it might get him what he wants. Considered repulsive by everyone except victims of the obedience virus. Has a disturbing tendency to win anyway, after which he does an annoying victory dance.

Marco Rubio: Philip J Fry

Nice enough guy, but out of his depth intellectually (and in most other ways).

Jeb Bush: Amy Wong

A complete and total klutz, without much sense of purpose. Practically unlimited financial resources, as the Bush Wong family own half of Mars.

John Kasich: Kif Kroker

Rational and competent, but has trouble getting anyone to listen. Despairs at the antics of Trump Zapp Brannigan. Sighs a lot.

Ben Carson: Hubert J Farnsworth

Brilliant at his specialist area of expertise. Baffled and confused by the wider world.

* Chris Christie: The Donbot

Known for taking excessive revenge on those who disappoint him. Any resemblance to the New Jersey Mafia is entirely coincidental.

* Carly Fiorina: Mom

A ruthless businesswoman, but unsuccessful in her scheme to take over the world.

Not running: Nixon's head in a jar

Although he would be an improvement on some of the others.

Also not running: FXJKHR

He is the 60th President, and Obama is the 44th, so we have some time.

Cute Cat Friday 2016-02-12: Joni

Watchful cat on the windowsill.

We were glad to learn this week that Belle has been adopted. We wish her a long and happy life in her new home.

Slouching Towards Nomination

"And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?"

--- WB Yeats, "The Second Coming" 

Whatever else happens, Donald Trump has made history: With no experience in elected office or the armed forces, he has won a state primary. He was almost twenty percentage points ahead of his nearest competitor in New Hampshire. What if he keeps winning?

Donald Trump

Cute Cat Friday 2016-02-05: Joni

Here is Joni on her very first expedition through the cat flap into our garden. She's going outside regularly now; not for very long at a time, but we think that's largely because of the bad weather.

Belle is still available for adoption. The shelter had a couple of litters of kittens to place as well. I must admit they were completely adorable and it's not surprising they were taken first, but we are hoping she finds a good home soon.

The Greatest Show on Earth

I've always been fascinated by US Presidential campaigns. I've been following the latest one, but refrained from blogging about it until now. Of course I'll have a lot more to say about the candidates, but first I want to step back and consider the election itself.

On Monday the first votes were cast, in the Iowa caucuses. So begins an election process louder, crazier and more expensive than any other, to choose the most powerful person on the planet.

Cute Cat Friday 2016-01-29: Celebrating Belle

One thing about Belle, she is a beautiful cat.

Here she is in the Blue Cross shelter in October 2013, just before we adopted her. She is back there now and still listed for adoption, but we are hopeful she will find a new home soon.

Below the fold are some more pictures of the very lovely Belle. Particular highlights are confronting her mortal enemy, the printer; and studying the life of the Dowager Empress of China, for ways of commanding her human servants. We hope she and her next humans are happy together.

Election Stories 2: The Labour Party

Part One looked at the narratives of the big winners and smaller losers in the 2015 general election. We now turn to the Labour party.

So, what was Labour's story in the last election? As far as I can tell — and I'm trying to be generous here — it was:

Mumble mumble squeezed middle burble rail fares something utility bills.

Ed Miliband thought a manifesto was a substitute for a story. There were some worthy policies in there, but no inspiring narrative.

When Miliband condensed his offer down to six bullet points, they were positively embarrassing, even before he had them carved onto a big lump of rock. Campaigning for a strong economy isn't a story; it's like saying kittens are cute and chocolate is delicious. That's very nice, but it's no reason to give away the keys to a whelk stall, let alone 10 Downing Street.