Jumping The Queue And Other Lies

Theresa May, who brought us the hostile environment, the "citizens of nowhere" speech, and the Windrush deportations, has struck again. This time, trying to sell her embattled Brexit deal to the public, she has said it will stop EU citizens from "jumping the queue" ahead of "engineers from Sydney or software developers from Delhi".

This is offensive nonsense. There is no queue; EU citizens have exercised a right of free movement guaranteed by international treaty. But it's revealing of the aims and likely outcome of Brexit.

Theresa May. Source: The Independent/Reuters

What does May mean by this phrase? Of course, some of it is tribal signalling, almost beneath the level of spoken language. "Britain good, Europe bad" is the crude subtext. For this purpose, she might as well be flinging her own feces at a European flag. But there's something more interesting going on here.

This Is Who They Are

I thought I was numb to hearing about acts of cruelty by the UK immigration authorites. I was wrong.

Two cases this week gave me a sick, hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach.

• Julie Bolitho's husband Vikram was deported from the UK, not because of any error on their part; not because they had fallen foul of the complex and arbitrary immigration rules; but because the Home Office had broken its own regulations and refused to back down from the error.
• Leah Waterman is raising two young children, and caring for her husband Simon, who was severely disabled by a stroke. The Home Office has deported her, saying that Simon must act as sole carer to the children, even though he suffers from hours-long seizures and is unable to speak or write.

In a horrible way, these are the lucky ones. They have chosen to fight, can afford legal representation, and are articulate enough to get their stories into the media. Others must be simply going, silently; they have much to contribute to the UK, but are being thrown out for no good reason.

"What kind of man are you?"
--- Dave Brewster, The Man Who Wasn't There (2001)

Flag of Convenience

Malta has been selling citizenship since 2014. The price is at least EUR 880,000, or approximately one million US dollars -- a sum which demands to be spoken in your best Doctor Evil impersonation.

A few other countries have done the same, but Malta is interesting because it's a member of the EU and the Schengen border-free travel area.

Valetta, Malta. Source: Wikimedia Commons

The attraction for rich people from less stable countries is not hard to imagine. Travelling and doing business in Europe suddenly becomes much easier. If your home country undergoes a coup or civil war, or its government decides to pursue a vendetta against you, a safe haven is ready and willing to take you in.

I imagine the Maltese government would refuse citizenship to outright terrorists and war criminals, but you don't have to show any positive commitment to Malta. You are required to buy or rent a house there, but under no obligation to live in it.

My instinctive reaction is to find it rather sad and demeaning. It cheapens a country's citizenship to offer it up for sale, like a particularly exclusive sports car.

The Way of Pain

The Prime Minister has made clear we're headed for a hard Brexit, come hell or high water. This reveals a great deal about her character and priorities.

Let's suppose Theresa May had actually wanted to keep the UK within the single market and customs union, in a Norway-style deal. It would honour the referendum result by leaving the EU, minimise damage to the UK economy, but also retain free movement and contributions to the EU budget. How could she have done it?

In Praise of Sadiq Khan

Overshadowed by the hulaballoo surrounding Jeremy Corbyn this weekend, Sadiq Khan was chosen to contest the London mayoral election for Labour in 2016. Not being a Londoner, I hadn't paid much attention to that contest; but Khan looks like the sort of Labour politician I could get behind.

Unfunny jokes

Dear Facebook friend,

Yesterday, you "liked" an anti-immigrant joke on Facebook. The punch line was:

You're British mate, you're entitled to fuck-all! (*)

You're a perfectly pleasant and likeable person, not normally given to sharing immigrant-bashing posts. I really, sincerely hope this was a one-off and you didn't give it much thought.

Residents of the UK are entitled to all sorts of things, often taking them completely for granted. For all its faults, the UK has a good standard of living, world-class health and education institutions, and a vibrant and diverse culture. That is why I've chosen to make my home here -- instead of Canada or the USA, as I have the right to do -- and pay thousands of pounds in visa and citizenship fees for the privilege. It's curious, and a little sad, the author of this "joke" has less pride in the UK than I do.

One might protest that I am one of the "good" immigrants. This distinction is not as helpful as some appear to believe. We can all agree criminals are "bad" immigrants, but beyond that it very much depends on subjective opinion. In addition, certain politicians don't bother with these niceties when blaming "immigrants" for everything from unemployment to bad traffic on the M4.

I know the Facebook post isn't about facts or reason. It's about having a cheap laugh at the expense of immigrants. Speaking as one of them, I am not impressed.

In the old days, it was easier to indulge in a little hypocrisy. Open and honest discussion may be a virtue, but I've got plenty of other things to worry about, and my life would be simpler if I didn't know you "liked" this joke. Now it is known, I can't un-know it, and I'm writing about it because it bothers me.

Hypocrisy isn't as easy as it used to be. All of us should all bear in mind that when we "like" anything, Facebook's ever-so-helpful algorithms will push it to our friends and acquaintances, who may not have quite the same reaction as we do.

Best wishes,

Iain

---

* - This is why punctuation is important:

• You're entitled to fuck-all: You're entitled to nothing.
• You're entitled to fuck all: You're entitled to copulate with everyone.

A bunch of amateurs

Another week, another UKIP scandal. This time it involves Janice Atkinson, an MEP and prospective parliamentary candidate for Folkestone and Hythe. She was previously in the news last September, for referring to a consituent of Thai background as a "ting tong". Now her chief of staff, Christine Hewitt, appears to have been recorded attempting to fiddle her boss' expense claims as an MEP.

Janice Atkinson. Source: BBC News

The sheer audacity of Hewitt's claimed justification is impressive:

In the footage, she appears to ask for an invoice for a much higher sum than the bill she had originally received. 

Ms Hewitt is heard to say: "The idea is we overcharge them slightly, because that's the way we repatriate it."

In other words, she seeks to overcharge the taxpayers of the European Union, to "repatriate" some of the funds which the UK contributes to the EU. This is meant to be a noble ideological cause. If reports are accurate, Hewitt is fighting the good fight on behalf of Atkinson and the British public, one phony expenses claim at a time.

The UK's net contribution to the EU budget was £8,624 million in 2013, so I don't think a few thousand pounds will make any substantive difference. On the other hand, they would be quite significant for Hewitt, Atkinson or whoever else was the final recipient of the money.

I Am A Migrant

The I Am A Migrant project opposes the mendacity, scaremongering and outright bigotry which surround the immigration debate in the UK. In its own words:

The aim ... is to provide some much needed balance to current debates concerning immigration to Britain and EU membership, as well as wider issues relating to migration more broadly outside of the EU context. Motivation to launch the project stems from a deep concern over the future of the UK, specifically the kind of society it will be.

I wholeheartedly support this goal, and I Am A Migrant has kindly republished my recent piece "Waste of Space: An Open Letter to Nigel Farage".

I Am A Migrant is open to contributions; both general articles such as mine, and more personal stories. These may be from migrants like myself, saying how we came to the UK and why we choose to make it our home; but contributions from those born in the UK are welcome as well. If you are concerned about the immigration debate in the UK, I encourage you to visit this site, and consider sharing your story.

Waste of space: An open letter to Nigel Farage

Busy traffic on the M4.
Source: Bristol Post

Dear Mr Farage,

As an immigrant to the UK, I am very angry at your remarks that "immigrants" caused you to be late for an event in Wales on 5 December.

Tebbit Test Redux

Lord Tebbit was a senior member of the government in Thatcher's era, and is known for his "cricket test" of whether immigrants are sufficiently loyal to Britain. Now, he has decided to update his test, and achieved the impressive feat of becoming even more bigoted and incoherent.

In the original test, any immigrant who supports a cricket team other than England is considered suspiciously foreign.

Having a sports-based test of loyalty is silly to begin with; but as I've written before, it is particularly absurd in a country with at least four different international sports teams. The Scots and Welsh support their national teams against England at football or rugby, and are largely indifferent to cricket. Do these native-born Brits pass Tebbit's test, or not?

Consider an Irish immigrant to the UK. Ireland north and south have a combined team in rugby, but separate ones for football. So is supporting Ireland at rugby permitted, while supporting them at football falls foul of the Tebbit test?

Immigration from Australia to the UK was about 26,000 in the year to June 2012. There are plenty of Australians in Britain who support their national cricket team; and New Zealanders who are fanatical supporters of the All Blacks. Does Tebbit have a problem with white, English-speaking Aussies or Kiwis settling in the UK? I rather doubt it.

Dangerously foreign if they wanted to settle in the UK?
Source: The Guardian

For the record, I have dual Canadian and British citizenship, but I grew up in Canada. I do not care in the slightest how the England cricket team performs. If Canada faced England at rugby, I would support Canada, even though their chances of winning would be remote. Having said that, the UK is my home and has been for more than twenty years. I am personally insulted if anyone thinks my sporting allegiance makes me a less responsible and productive citizen.

Oh no, I don't mean you, Tebbit would probably say; and that's the point.